


A Matter of Gratitude

by Houkangishi



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 17:50:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1478617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Houkangishi/pseuds/Houkangishi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam sees something in the bunker that makes him think again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Matter of Gratitude

Sam sighed wearily as he walked into the bunker. It had been a long drive and an even longer hunt, but then to get sent to the store because they were out of toilet paper of all things. It had all left him feeling rather drained. All he wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed, but figured he should at least let Dean know he was home.

Sam made his way through the bunker listening for the sound of his brother. He was about to pass the kitchen when he heard a noise from inside. He pushed the door open in front of him. “Hey Dean, I’m – Oh god!” Sam back pedaled out of the kitchen.

Of all the things he didn’t need to see his brother leaning against the counter getting a blowjob with his hand tangled in dark hair and head thrown back like he’s receiving divine revelation is one of them. Especially when said dark hair belongs to a dude. A very familiar dude. “Cas?” Sam chokes out.

“Hello Sam,” Cas replies from the other side of the door, his voice steady like nothing out of the normal had happened.

“What the fuck Dean?!”

“I gather you haven’t mentioned this to him?” Sam heard Cas ask over the rustling of clothing being righted.

“It’s none of his business.” Dean said pushing the door open. He pointed a finger at Sam. “It’s none of your business.” Dean walked past still buckling his belt.

“Are we going to talk about this?” Sam called to Deans retreating back.

“There is nothing to talk about.” Was all Dean answered as he disappeared around the corner to his bedroom. Cas stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do.

Dean’s head poked back around the corner. “Cas?” Cas gave Sam a long look and then followed after Dean leaving Sam behind with an epic bitchface and the start of a headache.

Sam tried to forget about it. Dean was right, it was none of his business. It's not like he’s hurt. Things haven't been great between him and Dean lately, but Dean is his _brother_ and Cas may as well be. If this makes them happy, good for them, but he still wishes that they had told him.

It's almost a week later when he finally gets the nerve to say anything. He and Dean are in the library doing research, but Sam can’t concentrate. He keeps finding himself staring at his brother with a frown on his face.

Finally Dean puts his book down and barks out an exasperated “What?”

Sam startles at his brothers voice and coughs. “Nothing, sorry.”

"Don’t nothing me. I know that look, now will you just spit it out so we can get back to work.”

Sam frowns down at his book before answering, not able to meet Dean’s eyes suddenly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Dean’s face closed off partially. “Tell you what?”

“About you and Cas!” Suddenly Sam was mad. Things may not be that good right now, but they are brothers, and if his brother was getting serious with someone he deserved to know, and if things weren’t serious then Cas deserved better.

“It’s not like we’ve been spending a lot of quality time together Sam. Besides, you have made it perfectly clear in the past that you don’t want to hear about my sex life.” Dean closed his book.

“This isn’t some random hookup Dean, this is _Cas_."

“Yes, it’s Cas, we occasionally sleep together, what more do you need to know?” Dean was shutting further down. Sam wasn’t sure how his next questions would be met.

He cleared his throat. “Do you love him?”

Dean huffed out a humorless laugh and ran a hand over his face. “I’m not talking about this with you. You want to act like my brother again, that’s great, but you don’t get to pick and choose which areas of my life you care about.” Dean stood up. “I’m going for pie.” And he left.

Sam could feel his jaw clenching. He shook his head and tried to get back to work when he saw Cas wander through the door.

“Hello Sam.” Cas sat down awkwardly across from Sam.

“You were listening?”

“Yes.” Cas answered simply. “Dean has a hard time speaking about these things.”

Sam scoffed. “That’s an understatement.”

Cas was quiet for a second, brow furrowed. “Dean has not asked me not to speak with you about these things. I was hoping that he would speak with you himself, but if there is something you feel like you need to know I am willing to answer your questions.”

Sam thought for a moment. “How long has this been going on?"

“Our liasons have been going on since we were trapped in Purgatory, though they have only recently become regular and of a more . . . formal nature.” Cas answered simply.

“Fuck.” Sam said with a slightly hysterical note to his voice. “Purgatory? This has been going on since Purgatory?”

“That is what I said.” Cas paused for a moment. “Is you anger over the fact that Dean didn’t tell you, that I am an angel, or that I am in a male vessel?”

“Dude, I don’t give a fuck about you being in a male vessel, Dean’s never been picky about gender, and if I had a problem with the angel thing I would be a hypocrite.” Cas nodded his understanding.

They were quiet, both lost in their own thoughts. Sam finally broke the silence. “Do you love each other?” He asked softly.

Cas took a long time to answer. “Greek has 4 words for love, Hebrew has 3, and English has only the one. No matter what language I pull from, I find the words humanity has for love . . . insufficient to describe my feelings for Dean.” They were both quiet once again until Cas stood up. “I should go."

"Hey Cas." Sam called before the angel could leave the room. Cas turned around and regarded Sam with a quizzical look. "Thank you."

Cas tipped his head to one side. "If you are this greatful for information about your brother perhaps you should spend sometime thinking about what exactly is keeping you two apart." With that the angel left the room.

When Dean got back with the pie Sam was waiting for him in the library. "Hey." Dean said, sitting down with a fork and the box.

"Hey." Sam answered, quickly drooping his gaze back to his book. "So I, ah, spoke with Cas."

Dean paused for a moment with a big bite of pie in his mouth. He chewed slowly. "You're good then? No more awkward questions?"

Sam nodded, not looking at his brother. After a few more minutes of Dean's obnoxious chewing Sam cleared his throat and spoke up again. "I uh, I don't like not knowing what's going on with you."

Dean sat his fork down. "That was your choice dude."

"I know." Sam said quickly. "I know, but I would like to" Sam coughed. "I get you were trying to save me, and I still think we're fucked up, but I'd like to work on not ... being ... Fucked up"

Dean nodded. "Can I finish my pie?"

Sam snorted. "Jerk."

"Bitch." Dean shoveled more pie into his mouth.

"But dude Cas??"

Dean smirked and leaned back in his chair. "Angel stamina man. Nothing like it." His grin grew at Sam's grossed out face and shoveled another huge bite of pie into his mouth.

Sam reached over and scooped up some pie filling on his finger and popped it into his mouth, ignoring Deans spluttered protest. Things weren't ever going to be perfect, but maybe they could be better. "Just keep it out of the kitchen."

In the months to come things did get better. If Sam hadn't walked in on them, he probably still wouldn't know about Dean and Cas, but that was just how they worked, quietly in the background to all the other major shit in their lives.

His relationship with Dean also started to improve and slowly but surely they came around to being brothers again. If they could just survive everything else on their lives, Sam thought they just might be ok.

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at a Supernatural fic. Kind of my take on how I think Destiel would be handled on the show I guess.


End file.
